Katie's To Do List

Katie's To Do List

1. Wake up before the Chandlers

2. Stare in fascination at this brother and sister duo that can sleep through all the bungalow construction going on outside our window

3. Contemplate turning on the t.v. to watch an animal documentary on the Discovery Channel.

4. Am reminded of the Koala documentary a few days earlier where I learned that Clamydia is a leading cause of death among the Koala community.

5. Think about owning a Koala as a pet.

6. Think about dressing Koala in hoodies and sweatbands.

7. Entertain the idea of naming pet Koala 'Waffles.'

8. Continue staring at sleeping Chandlers. Finally, in a loud, crackly voice, yell, "Wake-y Wake-y Eggs and Bake-y."

9. Watch as the Chandlers grumble and pinch their faces in agony.

10. Run into the bathroom before either of the Chandlers.

11. Brush teeth

12. Wash face

13. Wonder, when will I poo?

14. Pace around the room as Chandlers continue to moan and stare blankly at inanimate objects.

15. Watch as Ben stumbles into the bathroom

16. Within seconds, watch as Ben emerges from the bathroom rubbing his belly and looking satisfied.

17. Wear one of three outfits that will be my wardrobe for the next two and a half months.

18. Watch Chandlers putter around the room, mumbling about contact solution, the importance of daily sunblock application, and how hungry they are.

19. An hour later walk to nearby restaurant.

20. Try not to think of how dirty the plastic pages of the menu are as I read such familiar menu items as Muesli, pancakes, crunchy fried foods, and egg sandwich.

21. Contemplate ordering a pineapple pancake because I know it's good here and have not been very satisfied with previous breakfast foods here.

22. Remind myself that I don't like sweet foods in the morning and instead order eggs and toast.

23. Recieve a plate of runny eggs and toast that looks and feels like white cardboard.

24. Stare at the pineapple pancake Ben ordered in jealousy and beg him for another bite.

25. Ben says I can't have anymore and mumbles something about me being a fat piggy mooch.

26. Keep staring at his pancake until he finally relents and cuts me a small pancake sliver that barely contains any pineapple bits and feeds me baby airplane style.

27. I make goo goo sounds like a baby.

28. We laugh and then continue eating in silence.

29. Walk to the beach.

30. Get sweaty on the walk.

31. Begin complaining about the sweat dripping down my face.

32. Everyone pretends like they can't hear me.

33. Remind everyone again that I am sweating a lot.

34. I hear some mumbles of agreement.

35. Decide to stop talking for awhile.

36. Arrive to the beach.

37. Everyone yells 'stunning!' in unison and in a middle aged booming lady voice that is obnoixous, but suprisingly, still funny.

38. Run straght into the water.

39. Swim.

40. Lay in the surf like a beached whale.

41. Lay out in the sun.

42. Imagine if it is humanly possible for my skin to get any darker than it already is.

43. Stare down at my knees and realize that my legs look like a black woman's.

44. Repeat steps 38-43 for the rest of the afternoon.

45. Return to the hotel.

46. Agree that it is now time for some 'cannonball therapy.'

47. Run straight for the pool doing a cannonball.

48. Watch in amazement at how large Ben's cannonballs are.

49. Keep practicing my cannonballs until it feels like I have water in my brain.

50. Return to bungalow pruny and exhausted after spending a full workday on the beach.

51. Shower.

52. Eat dinner.

53. Begin nighttime leisure activities.

54. Repeat steps 1-54 for the next two and a half months, with some minor adjustments as needed.